- Anti Joke

If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

0 + 0 = 0

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

a man walked into a bar and said ow

Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

your face

What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

What did the teacher do? He taught.

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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