I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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