Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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