Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Good afternoon.

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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