Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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Are you a human?

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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