How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

soccer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

^ That's not even funny ^

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops