Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't allow horses in here." The horse then leaves.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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