How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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all the kids had fun

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops