What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Do you play piano? No

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Lil' Wayne

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops