How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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cory is gay

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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