Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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