A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

He walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black priest? A black priest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

identical jokes get different votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

thumb_up thumb_down +18

yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops