What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

What? Yes.

I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

what is orange? an orange

i cant STAND cripple jokes

My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Membean

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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