I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Breast cancer.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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