Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna know something funny? Your face

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you." So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind." The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out! "The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.' The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded! "So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible. "The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'" The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,199

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops