Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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