how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are all on a trian. The white guy says "We should all through something off the train that we have too much of in this country." The mexican throws a sombraro of the train and says " We have too many of these in this country." The black guy throws a gun off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country." The white guy pushes the mexican off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

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A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Yo mamas so fat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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