Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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you're a loser >>>>>>>>>>>

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Trashcan!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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