What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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