roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

Black people

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

Luke Hardie is G@Y

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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