Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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A skinny white prisoner dropped his soap in the shower. So the big, ripped, black prisoner who was showering next to him picked up the soap and handed it back to him. The skinny white prisoner said "Thank you" and continued with his shower.

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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