What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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what is a chicken answer: chicken

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What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What was the sadest part about the four blacks who drove off a cliff in a cadilac? -The car sat five

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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Why does the Anti-Joke site suck? Because it's not funny.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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