If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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