What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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