Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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Bark I'm a tree

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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Derp

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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