What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Knock knock

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops