Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops