whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Skrillex.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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Your big dick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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