How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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school homewrok

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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