Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

UP

Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

You know what's natural? Bears.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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