What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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