:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

I wonder where the hell Hitler is

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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