Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Penis-Pump

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

thumb_up thumb_down -7

who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops