Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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retard

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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autsim

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Faithful men.

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A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops