What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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