What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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