a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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why did the chicken cross the rode?????? i dont know because he felt like it???????????p.s.i actually dont know why he crossed the rode so go ask the next who makes a joke about a chicken crossing a rode?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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what happened to the drug addict? he go high

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops