Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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