What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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