Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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What is 9+10? 19

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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Sixty... eight

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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4-4-2

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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