What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

Turkeys are obese

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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