What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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8============D PEN1S

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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what is very tall and red a very tall red building

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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