What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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