If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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Maturity is a virtue.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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hi

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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