Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

knock knock who's there interupting black woman interu- MMMMHHHHHMMMM

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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