wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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your a towel.

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Women's Rights

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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