"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops