How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

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A jew enters a mall.

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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minced oaths

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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