Jess Burns

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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