How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

Kim Kardashian.

Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

WOw you have no life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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