Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

i love to lick...

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

9:11 make a wish

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

woman's rights

knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

kennah campion when she talks

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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