You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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whats 2+2? 4

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Poop

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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this is a joke

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Cancer

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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