There's my tractor.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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who farted i did :]

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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