A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

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yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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