ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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copy me and i will kill you

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What's dead? Your mum.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

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What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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AND

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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A pope meets another one

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops