How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When u outside and the suns out.....stand under raysean u will see a solar eclispe

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -35

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops