Zach Murfitt has a huge penis! Lol jk he has an inchy stryder

Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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