A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

Apple.

What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

an athiest walks into a church

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

Women's rights.

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

Dylan Eichas

Why did little justin fall off his bike? because a terrorist threw a fridge at him

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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