Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you." So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind." The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out! "The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.' The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded! "So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible. "The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'" The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,138

Add Your Comment

Are You A Zombie?

  • thumb_up thumb_down +126

    the whole point is that throughout the entire time you're reading it, you're anticipating a climactic ending to this joke when in reality there is no joke. that's why it's funny. i guess it's a certain kind of humor but this is by far my favorite anti joke other than: A duck walked into a bar... ...and was quickly escorted out as no animals were allowed in the bar.

  • thumb_up thumb_down +23

    Thank you. I laughed till I was sweating. Tried to read it to my family on Christmas and they were more amused with my inability to get to the end without breaking down with uncontrolable laughter just thinking about the ending than the joke itself.

  • thumb_up thumb_down +23

    best joke on the site.....I've read it over 50 times

  • thumb_up thumb_down +21

    Haha I love all the 'I don't get it' comments. Read the name of the site and then you'll understand

  • thumb_up thumb_down +14

    similar, maybe better joke: i walk into a bar and sit down and order a drink. Im hangin out and this guy walks in with this duffle bag and sits next me. He gets his drink and puts the bag on the bar. He opens the bag and a little man comes out, looks around, goes back into the bag and pulls out a little piano (proportionate to his size). I say "whats the deal with this little guy?" The guy next to me pulls out a genie lamp and tells me that i have on wish to be granted, but speak clearly because he's got bad hearing. So I humor him and wish for a million bucks, all the sudden the bar is full of ducks, ducks everywhere. so i look to the guy and say whats the deal i wished for a million bucks, the guy looks back to me and says "yea, you think I wished for a nine inch pianist?"

  • thumb_up thumb_down +13

    Classic

  • thumb_up thumb_down +12

    the whole point is that throughout the entire time you're reading it, you're anticipating a climactic ending to this joke when in reality there is no joke. that's why it's funny. i guess it's a certain kind of humor but this is by far my favorite anti joke other than: A duck walked into a bar... ...and was quickly escorted out as no animals were allowed in the bar.

  • thumb_up thumb_down +11

    Ha long joke but still hilarious

  • thumb_up thumb_down +11

    For all who don't know this site, this is an ANTIjoke. It isn't a real joke; that's why its funny.

  • thumb_up thumb_down +5

    Feed my nipples

  • thumb_up thumb_down +4

    Best one on the site so far :-)

  • thumb_up thumb_down -5

    That's really an anti-joke! LOL

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops