What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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a black guy walks into a fast food place.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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