Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Women's rights.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

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Woman's Rights

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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