how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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this is not a joke.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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The Bible

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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