How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? killing their parents first.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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