Obama

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

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11111

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops